I was a very shy, introverted child. Growing up, I often found it difficult to express myself. Whenever someone did something that bothered me, I couldn't respond or express my feelings clearly. Instead, I would freeze, my mind racing with things I wanted to say but couldn't muster the courage to voice. This would lead to a cascade of emotions: frustration, guilt, and regret.
I vividly remember one instance in middle school when a classmate made a hurtful comment about my appearance. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, but I just stood there, silent and paralyzed. Later that night, I replayed the scene over and over in my mind, imagining all the clever comebacks and assertive responses I could have given. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt.
Why couldn't I stand up for myself? Why was it so hard to speak my mind? These questions haunted me, making it difficult to sleep. Instead of moving on, I would lie awake, consumed by thoughts of what I should have said or done.
This pattern repeated itself many times throughout my life. Each time, the inability to express my feelings left me feeling powerless and filled with self-doubt. It was as if my shyness had wrapped me in an invisible barrier, keeping my true thoughts and feelings locked away.
It took me years, but in my early twenties, I decided to find my own voice. I promised myself that I would never ignore my own feelings again. I vowed to say "no" when I didn't want something and to express my feelings as clearly as possible. I committed to being honest with myself and others, no matter how difficult it might be.
Making this promise to myself was both liberating and challenging. The first time I said "no," it was incredibly difficult. I had to create a web of excuses and lies, which only made me more stressed. When I tried to express my views, I often couldn't make sense or communicate clearly without offending people.
So, I pushed harder. I did some self-reflection and realized that I didn't need to please everyone. I decided to clearly say "no" without feeling the need to explain myself. The next time I did it, it was awkward, but I felt a sense of relief.
I also decided to think through my thoughts and arrange them logically before speaking. At first, it was slow and challenging, but over time it became easier. I learned to present my views logically and convincingly without offending others.
This journey has been transformative. I've learned that my voice matters and that expressing my emotions is a vital part of who I am. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire others who may be struggling with similar feelings to take steps towards finding their own voice. Remember, it's never too late to start speaking up and being true to yourself.
To find your voice, practice the following:
Learn to say "No": When you don't want something, say "no" without feeling the need to please others. It's important to honor your own needs and boundaries.
Engage in self-reflection: Take time to understand your true feelings and needs. Self-awareness is key to knowing what you really want and how to express it.
Think before you speak: Arrange your thoughts logically before expressing them. This helps ensure clarity and prevents misunderstandings, allowing you to communicate your views effectively and respectfully.
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